Dear Abby: I am a 38-year-old woman with no kids, a loving partner and puppy. I run a business my dad originally built. I’m at a high point in my life despite the tragedy of losing my mom. I realize my friendships are important going forward in life.
One woman I’ve known since childhood posts harsh, opinionated political things on her social media. I don’t agree with them. I don’t mind that she holds that political view as long as I don’t have to see it, but I’d prefer she left it out of our friendship.
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My social media contains only family photos and photos of my dog’s antics. I choose not to post things that might cause division. Would it be wrong to end this friendship, since our adult views no longer align?
Split Decision in New Jersey
Dear Split Decision: When your longtime friend posts these items on social media, she’s not posting them only to you. She’s sharing them with all of her friends, many of whom may be like-minded. Rather than end the relationship, either scroll past her postings, mute them or block them entirely. However, if she brings these views up when you’re together, ask her to keep politics out of the discussion.
Dear Abby: I am hosting a dinner at a restaurant to celebrate my wife’s birthday. There will be 16 guests, all family members. Our daughter “Erin,” to whom it’s hard to say no, has just asked if our grandson can bring his girlfriend. While it appears they are in a serious relationship, no one else at the celebration has ever met the girl.
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A few years ago, Erin did something similar. She asked on Christmas Day if her son could bring a friend to what was a family dinner of 12 in our home. We apologized and said it wouldn’t work out. Erin then refused to come to dinner with her family of five. She was furious for weeks. I feel requests like this are inappropriate. Am I off base?
Crowded Host in Arizona
Dear Host: You are not off base. Erin has a lot of gall to think she can dictate who can drag someone along to someone else’s celebration, and then throw a fit if the answer is no. Stick to your guns and don’t allow yourself to be intimidated.
Dear Abby: After your children become adults, who should initiate phone calls? I usually wait for my kids to do it because they have busier lives than I do and I don’t want to bother them. But this can mean I don’t talk with my children for weeks at a time. Should I be the one calling?
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Sitting by the Phone in Colorado
Dear Sitting: Call your children as often as you wish. If they are busy and can’t talk long, they will probably tell you. However, if between the calls you are just sitting and waiting for the phone to ring, I urge you to start involving yourself in activities that bring you pleasure and stimulate your mind. If you do, your conversations will be livelier.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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