Dear Miss Manners: I have some friends who frequently announce to me how much money they are saving by shopping at discount stores, buying off-brand items and buying all of their clothing, including shoes, at secondhand and thrift stores.
I am not wealthy, but I am a professional who works hard. I do not shop at these stores because whenever I have tried in the past, I am not satisfied: I don’t wear or use the items, and end up feeling that I have truly wasted money instead of saving it.
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Whether something is “expensive” is subjective, isn’t it? I do not ever brag or tell anyone what I pay for anything.
It is one thing to make general comments about good shopping places, but when one of my friends starts telling me the exact dollar-and-cents difference, I can’t respond. She will continue to repeat how much she saves as though she wants me to agree, which I usually don’t.
For example, a friend announced that she could not buy a bag of chocolate chips at the grocery store. I thought it might be an interesting story, but she proceeded to say that she was so spoiled by the prices at such-and-such discount store, she just could not make the purchase elsewhere.
Most of the time I have no response, but I did laugh at this one and say, “You must not have wanted them very badly.” Occasionally I’ll say, “Well, good for you.” Most of the time I just ignore the discussion, but it always feels awkward.
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Isn’t it just as rude to constantly talk about penny-pinching as it is to brag about how much money one spends?
Gentle Reader: It is not quite the same. But Miss Manners agrees with you that it is certainly no more interesting.
Dear Miss Manners: Would you please ask everyone to avoid completing someone else’s sentence unless you’re a close friend of the speaker, understand the circumstances and know the context of what they’re saying?
When someone does this to me, I bite my tongue and have the urge to say, “If you are telepathic, then we don’t even have to continue this conversation at all.” But I’ve outgrown the urge to be sarcastic.
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Gentle Reader: That is a relief. Miss Manners will reward you by spreading the word. Although she will warn you against giving close friends, and even partners and family members, your exemption. They can be equally bad at predicting the end of your sentence — and even more infuriating if they get it wrong.
Dear Miss Manners: I would like to ask your readers to think twice about giving a surprise party. The surprise may be much more enjoyable for the hosts and guests than for the person being surprised.
If you want to honor someone, why wouldn’t you do it at a time and in a manner that is agreeable to the person being honored? The surprise not only deprives the honoree of the joy of anticipation; sometimes the honoree may find the party painfully embarrassing or inconvenient.
Gentle Reader: Or worse, if they have a heart condition.
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