As “The Real Housewives of Orange County” opened on Thursday, Oct. 29, a handful of housewives are taking family time for themselves and their kids.
Emily Simpson is at a fragrance-making shop with her daughter Annabelle for a mother-daughter outing, and apologizing for not spending enough time with her in recent months.
Jenn Pedranti is talking with her 12-year-old son Dominic about the need to improve his performance in school.
And Shannon Storms Beador? Shannon is doing the most Shannon thing possible, assembling her three daughters on Zoom for a conference call with her pet psychic to decide how aggressively to treat the brain cancer afflicting the family dog Archie.
“I don’t know what he wants,” Shannon tells the pet psychic as Archie the golden retriever looks on, appropriately mystified.
“He is talking about receiving the (radiation) treatment,” the psychic replies, translating Archie’s thoughts and prayers for the assembled humans. “In addition to that, he wants you to know it might come a time when, all of a sudden, he takes a turn.
“He doesn’t want the long, drawn-out process,” she continues.
As the scene cuts between Shannon’s daughters wiping away at tears on the Zoom and archival clips of Archie’s life with the family, Shannon chokes up a little, saying, “You’re mommy’s best friend.”
Gulp. We know how this story ends, and as ridiculous as you may think it is to have a pet psychic ask your dog whether he wants radiation or no treatment, the emotions of the moment are entirely sincere.
This final episode of the 20th season of “The Real Housewives of Orange County” spends most of its time on the 20th anniversary party Vicki Gunvalson is throwing at the Coto de Caza Golf & Racquet Club inside the gated community where show creator Scott Dunlap had the eureka moment that launched the Bravo housewives franchise.
Vicki has decided that all housewives present and past who attend shall wear Sky Tops in tribute to the first season of the series in 2006. What are Sky Tops, you ask? We know this!
“The Real Housewives of Orange County” loved, loved, loved wearing the low-cut blouses that featured a medallion or some other kind of decorative doodah at the lowest point of the décolletage. Sky Tops was the brand name at the time, though like Kleenex, Bubble Wrap and Jell-O, it’s now used generically by all but AP Style-trained newspaper copy editors.
Jeana Keough, who appeared in the first five seasons, and Elizabeth Lyn Vargas, who only appeared in Season 15, arrive together, soon followed by Jo de la Rosa, who lasted the first two seasons, and Peggy Tanous, who lasted only Season 6.
Lizzie Rovsek, a one-timer for Season 9, and Lynne Curtin, who appeared in seasons 4 and 5, came next, like all the past housewives, paying tribute to Vicki, the self-appointed OG of the OC.
The current cast quickly congregated at the club, with Emily, Jenn, Shannon and Vicki joined by Gina Kirschenheiter, Heather Dubrow, Tamra Judge, and Carmella Garcia, who Vicki didn’t actually invite as a result of her season-long petty dispute with the newest housewife to dare enter her queendom.
Shannon arrives to feminine catcalls, impressed by that which her Sky Top did not cover.
“The girls are out,” Gina gawked.
“Shannon, I love when you bring the sisters out,” Lizzie added.
“I feel like kneading bread or something,” Tamra added in a confessional.
Shannon announced that the man who’d snared her phone number when Heather and Emily took her pub-crawling had texted, asking for a date. Yay, the women cheered, but aww, she’d turned him down.
“I think he was younger,” Shannon told the camera. “I’m not a cougar.”
Yet, Shannon, yet.
Things wrapped with most of the housewives making peace for now with those with whom they’d feuded this season.
Carmella and Vicki agreed that if they didn’t have anything nice to say to each other, they’d say nothing at all. [We give this a 5 percent chance of actually happening in the future.]
Jenn was reassured by Tamra that Tamra actually does want to be her friend, and Heather convinced Gina that she meant no disrespect by her commentary on Gina’s spendy ways in Tokyo vintage boutiques.
“I have a lot of memories,” Vicki said as she led the housewives in a toast to 20 seasons. “It’s like a diary of your life.
“This is more than a TV show,” she continued, her voice betraying her emotions. “This is my life, and I’m really proud to be a part of it, and I don’t take it for granted.”
As for Archie, he will always be Shannon’s bestest boy.